Ten super realistic options
An article by 247 Sports’ Carter Karels recently revealed a high-level overview of the Texas A&M athletic department’s 2024 financials, including the fact that A&M finished the fiscal year with a $22.7 million surplus. A logical person would surmise that this either due to some one-time occurrences, or perhaps preparation for future expenses like athlete revenue sharing.
But it’s way more fun to just brainstorm outlandish ideas of what else A&M athletics could do with that $22.7 million, so let’s do that instead.
Buy the six most expensive houses in College Station
According to Realtor.com, there are currently six residential properties in College Station priced at $3 million or more, with a grand total price of $19.86 million for all six. We’ll leave some room for closing costs, realtor fees and moving expenses but this seems totally doable.
Order 185 custom-wrapped Cybertrucks
Imagine just any army of these things with A&M logos on them hosting recruits on official visits, being rented out to donors or just driving themselves about town to promote the A&M brand. Hard to find better bang for your buck, in my opinion.
Two Super Bowl commercials
Photo by Tyler Kaufman/Getty Images
Super Bowl commercials now apparently cost $8 million a pop. We’ve already got a great commercial for the university ready to roll. Just run it twice! Money well spent, if you ask me.
Pay down the Jimbo Fisher buyout
Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images
Generally I’d say paying off your debt early is a good idea, but in this case, there’s no interest, so you actually don’t gain anything by doing so. If anything, thanks to to inflation, paying off Jimbo over time rather than up front will actually pay dividends in the end.
Have Arch Manning transfer to A&M
Photo by Todd Kirkland/Getty Images
Does A&M have a need at QB? Not particularly, as many are expecting big things from Marcel Reed this fall. Is Manning in the transfer portal? No, and all indications are that he’s been nothing but happy in Austin. But if he were gonna be convinced to transfer, I’m betting that $22.7 million would do the trick, and most importantly, it would be infinitely hilarious.
Give every current student $286
Photo by Mark Felix for The Washington Post via Getty Images
Texas A&M’s Fall 2024 enrollment is 79,114, and even with that bloated number, the athletic department could give each of them a nice little check if that was the route they wanted to go. Does it have a tangible benefits for the athletic department? Of course not. Though you’d likely see a short-term boon for Northgate businesses and a steep dip at plasma donation centers.
Build a lazy river around Kyle Field
My long-held dream can finally come true. Why go all the way to San Marcos when you can build the top tubing destination in the country right on campus?
Have Beyonce perform at Midnight Yell
Photo by Brooke Sutton/Getty Images
Beyonce was reportedly paid $20 million to perform at halftime of the NFL Christmas halftime show on Netflix, so surely $22.7 would get her to Kyle Field this fall. You only THOUGHT that place was full for George Strait.
Open nine Whataburger franchises
Put a Whatburger at Kyle Field. One at Reed and Olsen. One in the MSC. You could put them all on campus and I guarantee they’d all still be busy as long as they have that essential one maroon stripe.
Order 1.75 million large orders of Tijuana Fries at the Dixie Chicken
Also known as approximately three Aggie football losses worth of emotional eating.